The Roommate Rules (part 1)

So i'll probably add onto this later, but right now i'm seriously pissed off.

Rules:

1. 1. DO NOT come in my room without my permission. Even if you know I’m inside you have no right to open my door. Or wake me up when I’m asleep, or demand things of me when you know I’m in bed.
2. 2. Bills must be posted a week in advance or I will not pay them. I am not responsible for your stupidity.
3. 3. No cats in my room. Your cats are your responsibility. If they make a mess, you clean it up. If someone is yelling at your cat, take care of it. They are YOUR pets, not mine.
4. 4. If you’re working on a show with me in any capacity, you must e-mail me or discuss show matters on campus, NOT at home. Text messages don’t leave a paper-trail, dumbass. So learn to use your iphone in its proper capacity.
5. 5. Stop eating and opening my food without permission. You’re not clever; I know you’re stealing it.
6. 6. I pay more rent than you. Therefore I can have who I want over, when I want. You are not allowed to judge my company or tell me who is allowed to come over when.
7. 7. You have no right to deny me parking rights just because I don’t have a car.
8. 8. You’re a hoarder. Just because you’re mentally ill doesn’t mean you get more shelf/cabinet space than I do.
9. 9. Stop copying everything I do/like/own/aspire to. It’s creepy and I’m cuter than you are. Get your own life.
10. 10. Just because you earn a paycheck doesn’t mean you work harder than me. Once you’re in charge of 80 people (faculty, grads, undergrads) on a 24/7 job then come talk. Working 8 hours a weekend making over little girls is NOT equivalent to what I do, bitch.