$1 for 8 minutes?!? Or How To Survive Camping (Part 1)

So I just got back on Sunday from camping at Clear Lake, and me and my cousin Hobz decided to make a camping survival guide. She’s drawing the pictures, so they’re still under construction, but I figure until I type up all the survival tips I’ll just run this in installments.
So here we go, and in no particular order:
$1 for 8 minutes?!? Or How To Survive Camping (Part 1)

  • No matter what time of the day it is, if you’re in line for the shower you will hear very awkward things. The standards are: the male and female couple showering together, male only showering and moaning, and the ever popular screaming child and demanding parent.
  • It doesn’t matter how many quarters you use to shower. You’ll be dirty again in five minutes anyway.
  • Cheese in a can may sound disgusting, but pair it with some crackers and you have one of the best beach snacks ever.
  • Board games are cool again! But once you’re out of the woods they become lame again.
  • No one goes to bed until the campfire burns out, otherwise you run the risk of setting all of Northern California ablaze.
  • Big fish always show up when no one else is watching. You may seem like the ‘boy-who-cried-wolf’, but you saw a giant fish and no one else did! So shut up and stop bragging!
  • No matter your race, you turn into a redneck hillbilly when your camping because you get excited about “going to town!”.
  • Personal hygiene goes down the tubes. If you loose your toothpaste, you can go without brushing your teeth for days: just pop in a piece of gum! Your hair tangles into knots and children’s faces turn grey. Just remember that skunk will always smell worse than you without deodorant.
  • It’s easy to have a staring contest with a deer, but if you blink they will run.
  • No matter how much time you think you have left in the shower, your quarters will always run out when you suds up for the second time.

That’s all for this issue of our camping survival guide. Stay tuned for our next edition which will help with things like mosquitos, marshmallows and those fuzzy woodland creatures!
Love ya!


Oh Disneyland, You Price Gouging B****...

Well we all know that Disneyland, although the happiest place on earth, is also the MOST EXPENSIVE.  

Conversation A:

Me: omgosh.  never again
Mark: the public service announcement?
Me: no, i finished watching that like 45 minutes ago

I should mention that I was watching "The Secret Life Of The American Teenager" (waay too long of a title for a tv show, if you ask me.) on ABC

 Family.  Normally I steer clear of ABC Family because it's the second coming of The Disney Channel and we all know that Disney is just a huge money hungry corporation...which leads me back to the topic at hand...

Me: so i bought a popcorn bucket thing at Disneyland coz it had pirates on it...haha

Yes, we all know about my obsession with pirates.  Not surprising.  Oh, I should also mention 
that this was an AIM conversation.  Continue...

Mark: wtf? ok
Me: so it's like $5.50
Me: i just made popcorn and only 1 bag fit in it and it was overflowing
Mark: all that 4 some small cardboard w/ a pirate logo on it?
Me: no, a plastic bucket. ><
Mark: ummm missin the point here kid
Me: point being
Mark: it's still 5.50 4 a piece of plastic w/ art on it
Me: yeah, $5.50 for a plastic bucket full of popcorn which only holds one microwave bag of popcorn
Mark: go0d deal? i don't think so
Me: well i like the bucket
Me: but that's expensive!

Yes.  Those price gouging bastards sell about the same amount of popcorn in a microwave bag, inside a pretty bucket for like 50 Million times the price!
But then again, I like their popcorn better than even the movie theatres.  They must sprinkle it with Pixie Dust.

Oh Disneyland, you may be the happiest place on earth but you are a cruel, cruel mistress who loves to inflict deadly pain upon my wallet.